There are four stages to the role exiting process, according to Helen Rose Ebaugh:
1) First Doubts
2) Seeking Alternatives
3) The Turning Point
4) The Exit (Adjusting to the Role of an "Ex")
Ebaugh researched and published a book about the process of life`s exits, Becoming an Ex: The Process of Role Exit (1988). Although it was intended for sociologists, it has attracted a wider audience since its publication.
Ebaugh is herself an ex, having left the life of a nun to become a wife, mother, and professor of sociology.
Drawing on interviews with 185 people (including ex-convicts, ex-alcoholics, divorced people, mothers without custody of their children, ex-doctors, ex-cops, retirees, ex-nuns, and transsexuals ), she discovered a wide range of role changes.
She found they had experienced the same course in making their decisions.
First, there are times of doubt when people give off unconscious signs that they are feeling dissatisfaction. Next, there is the conscious doing of seeking alternatives and trying out new roles.
Then the individual decides to make the change in the third stage. The last stage is the actual exit and the adjustment to becoming an ex.